You've Come So Far: A Reflection on Anticipation / a picture a girl in the spring

A Reflection On Anticipation

Melissa Gosselin

Happy Wednesday, everyone! Hope you’re all doing well. As I write this post by the window, snowflakes are falling behind me. Yes, you read that correctly — snow! After all my posts about spring being just around the corner! So it got me thinking about an emotion: anticipation. I don’t know about you, but it doesn’t really matter if I’m anticipating something positive or negative . . . the emotion itself is uncomfortable. Waiting on an acceptance or rejection letter from college; on a job offer; on the success of a business venture. I’ve spent a lot of my life waiting for something to happen . . . thinking that, once it did, I would feel peace. 

I’m waiting on something in particular at this moment (not just for summer to arrive), so I’ve been reflecting a lot, trying to find lessons in the discomfort. I thought I’d share that with all of you today. 

The first thing I asked myself was: What belief does anticipation stem from? And here’s what I came up with. Anticipation stems from believing that something in the future is better (or worse) than how things are right now. At the end of the day, it signals a lack of presence. So I’ve been trying to come up with strategies and mindsets that bring me back to this moment. This is the mantra I’m using. (The idea behind the mantra isn't novel, but I tried to phrase it in a way that would make it memorable for me.)

It’s not about the outcome, but who I become in the process. 

Because maybe there are lessons in the waiting. Maybe in order to find true peace, I have to look at everything in life that is supporting me at this very moment. Happiness doesn’t come from outside validation or life looking exactly the way I want it to; it comes from being intentional with every action I take now

Something else that’s been on my mind is how everything can change in an instant. We lose jobs. Lose our health. Lose loved ones. So I know it’s important for me to take stock of my life, to be grateful, and decide how I want to live today . . . just today. 

And I’ve found that the more days I bless with my presence, the more my life overall takes on a new meaning. I achieve greater intimacy in my relationships because I'm more open to people. I appreciate the little things . . . the various sensations of my day. The smell of coffee brewing. The way the dogs play with one another. The taste of each of my meals. 

What has your experience with anticipation been like? How do you deal with it? Let me know in the comments below! 

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