ButterTree & Biscuits

Throughout this year, I’ve sifted through my past . . . I’ve had long chats with old friends so that I could harvest stories. The experience of writing about small moments has been transformative! I’ve learned so much about the people in my life and myself. But, sometimes, we need to take space to consolidate the lessons. For that reason, ButterTree & Biscuits will be taking a break. 

Looking through almost a year of blog posts got me thinking about how I document my life. Because I've always set aside time to look back on experiences. I’ve always kept journals or made scrapbooks, and I even created 1 Second Everyday videos (which is an app I started using in 2020 — check it out!). During the last few years, especially, there have been times when I felt like I wasn’t making progress, so I documented little pieces of each day, no matter how mundane.

The first thing I do every morning is take my poodle Carlota out to pee. The sun streaks through the trees, blanketing our yard with soft morning light. When spring and summer come around, I hear the birds chirping and I try to identify the different species. One particular morning, after coming in from outside, my dad asked, “Did you see the blue jay nest?”

Seventh grade was a difficult time for me — it was the first time I ever wondered about my place in the world. I’d just left the “cute kid” stage and was entering an awkward phase; I was studying in a French school even though English is my first language. 

Today, I want to talk about the dreams we have for ourselves. Because we all have our own private ambitions . . . we all have shared dreams, with a partner, family or friends. But what happens when something doesn’t work out? How do we overcome disappointment? 

Last Mother’s Day was hard for me. I mean, I don’t think I even got dressed that day. I guess the most prominent emotion was regret. I kept thinking of every Mother’s Day I could have spoiled my mom even more, kept wondering if she truly knew how much I loved her.